The New Gourmet

Before I went home, I got curious with one of the food stalls at LRT2 Katipunan Station, they are selling the sweet and oh-so yummy food I really missed called "ice crumble" or we typically call "iskrambol". It's pink, it's cold, it's sweet and topped with powdered milk and choco syrup. hmmm... delicious, isn't it.

I never thought that I would be eating this food again because my mama told that it's made in a very unsanitary way and those who are selling it has picked their booger or scratch their butts before serving me the food so I obliged and never tried to eat it again until now because I am quite certain that it was prepared in a clean place and that the sellers are taught about proper sanitation and if I may incur stomachache due to their lack of sanitation, I can always complain and have someone to run after; since I am perfectly fine, I assume that it's clean.

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Sa pagkain ko ng iskrambol eh naisip ko na napakamoderno na ng mundo ngayon na ang pagkaing nabibili lang sa harap ng eswelahan nuon o di kaya'y sa luob n palengke eh mabibili mo na rin sa mga istasyon ng tren at baka sa ilang shopping malls. Ito rin ang nangyari sa fishball, kikiam at kwek-kwek na lumawak ang market mula sa mga bata at masa na tumutuhog lang at sabay-sabay na nagsasawsaw sa garapong puno ng sauce na matamis, maanghang o di naman kaya'y mix at syempre ang napakasarap na suka na merong sili at konting panimpla hanggang abutin na nito ang mga middle class na meron ng tila platong pinaglalagyan at mas maliit na stick ang gamit para sundut-sundutin ang mga fishballs. Sa akin, mas gusto ko pa rin ang tradisyonal na pagkain ng fishball dahil ito ang nagpapatatag ng bond ng mga Pilipino pero dahil nga sa mga nakaraang paglaganap ng hepatitis at gastroenteritis ay mas pinipili na ring ganito ang gawin lalo pa't sa mall na kadalasang nakikita ang mga fishball carts.
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I can see that in the next years, we would be seeing this food in a more gourmet manner. Fishballs would be eaten as appetizers served in a platter with basil on top or some garnishes like chili flakes, main course includes isaw, barbecue or some nicely cooked betamax, sago't gulaman is served in a tall glass while ice crumble as dessert would finish the new gourmet meal... it would be a nice set for a date, don't you think?

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Bilang isang tao na lumaki sa kanto, natutuwa ako sa tuwing kumakain ako ng kwek-kwek, fishball at kikiam pero kung hindi na ito nakakatulong sa kalusugan mo o nnagbibigay banta sa lagay mo lalo na't kilalang mataas sa kolesterol ang mga pagkain sa kalsada tulad ng balut at kwek-kwek, magmenor lang ng konti dahil mas malaki ang mawawala sa iyo sa oras na nag-indulge ka rito ng sobra.

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Ice crumble brought me back to the past while I am pouring it in my throat... nice feeling...

Tomorrow, I will eat fishballs... I am hungry Billie... blogging.

photo credits: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Ice-Crumble-ISKRAMBOL/78377053416?v=info

White Light

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me. Your rod, your staff, they comfort me"

- Psalm 23:4

I am afraid to die.

Who isn't?

Many clergymen might say that if you really believe in God Almighty, you will never fear death or anything which may bring it so long as you believe in him and follow His will... but the question still lies in my head... what will happen to me after death?

Death has always been an avoided topic but whether we like it or not, it's something we could never avoid... something which we are born with... deal with it.

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Maaagnas lang naman tayo at kakainin ng mga uod at magiging pataba sa lupa tulad ng lahat ng uri ng bagay na nabubuhay sa ibabaw ng lupa. Sumusunod tayo sa chain... sa isang siklo ng buhay. -Agham

Ang kamatayan ay ang siyang nagdidikta ng kapanganakan natin sa kabilang mundo kung saan ang mga tapat na sumampalataya sa Panginoon ay mabubuhay kapiling Siya sa habang panahon. - Simbahang Katoliko

Bukod sa dalawang nabanggit, may paniniwalang Hindu na nagsasabing hanggang hindi nagagawa ng isang ispirito ang kanyang misyon o tungkulin, patuloy siyang babalik at babalik sa mundo. Ang mga ispiritista naman ay naniniwala sa vortex na kailangang tawirin ng mga kaluluwang handa ng pumunta sa kabilang mundo at ang mga kaluluwang di pa panatag ay kailangang uminom ng Lactum para maging 100% panatag kung hindi ay mananatili siyang nagliliwaliw dito sa mundo bilang isang multo na tulad ng katabi mo kagabi sa pagtulog mo.

Pero ano nga lang ba ang sigurado sa kamatayan.

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Death is the retirement of our physical body.. whether our spirits will take their own journey or not, we don't know or will never know until we're alive.

It is bidding farewell to our loved ones. The last chance to tell them how much we love and value them, and also how much we are thankful for having them around. The only moment when we are not hated but so much missed. The time when our achievements outweighed the shortcomings. The only time when we're ridiculed less and understood most.

No consoling word can ever amount to the pain of a death... No one can calm the most troubled hearts of those who were left behind and no guilt can ever compare to those who have not expressed the love which was there all along waiting for the perfect moment which never came.

Death is a dreadful event which may happen to anyone.... painful as it is to anyone...

I don't want to die yet for I am afraid...

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Gusto kong makita kung saan ang destinasyon ko bago ko mamatay, mga dalawang araw bago ako mamatay... para mawala ang takot at pangamba... para hindi ko maramdaman na wala palang dapat ipag-alala...

Hanggang sa aking makita ang puting ilaw... ako si Billie... blogging...

Aye Aye Captain!

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


Ang mga linyang iyon ay ang huling stanza ng pamosong tulang Invictus ni William Ernest Henley. Isang tula na tumatalakay sa pagiging isang mas matapang at determinadong tao na kayang humarap sa kung anumang hamon ng buhay... isang katangian na tinuro sa atin ng ating mga magulang.

2nd semester ng aking ikalawang taon sa college. Isang essay mula sa isa sa aking kaklase ang pumukaw sa aking interes... ang topic: Taking care of our parents in their old age... Lahat yata kami eh sinabing isa itong tungkulin ng mga anak na bagaman hindi hiningi ng mga magulang natin eh kailangan nating tuparin at least para na lang sa social approval na kadalasan nating pinahahalagahan ng sobra. Pero obligasyon nga ba talaga natin na alagaan sila?

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I really find it unfair that we, children of our parents, feel obliged to look after them during their golden years... that no matter how bad they were towards us or how bad our childhood was because of them, we are still forced by the society to look after them and treat them the nicest way we can... This is not a personal sentiment for my parents are considerable and fair enough but I know a lot of people who were not properly raised and was not given enough love and affection by their parents but when their parents grew old, they were expected to treat them with utmost love and affection. And if we don't.. we are the worst person alive...
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Bilang isang anak, pakiramdam ko eh hindi na natatapos ang tungkulin natin bilang anak... 'pag bata ka eh kailangan mong magpakabait, sundin ang gusto nila, wag gawin ang bawal at kahit hindi bawal eh kailangan mo pa ring ipagpaalam... If you turned out to be a big disappointment, sasabihin na wala kang kwentang anak kahit na sinubukan mo ang lahat ng makakaya mo samantalang ang mga magulang pag napakain nila ang anak nila nang tatlong beses kada araw at nasabihan ng konti dahil nagkamali eh tapos na ang araw nila bilang magulang...

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I think and believe that however we treat our parents in their prime age should depend on how they treated us when we were kids... we should give them what they deserve... Society should never meddle on these things, after all, it's a personal matter...

I believe that taking care of our parents is more of an act of gratitude rather than an obligation... so if you're a parent then be a good one.... Good parents are not born.. they're made... and they also bear good offsprings as well...

I said a lot... but only the last part made sense... Sorry... I have so many thoughts running in my head... 'till next time... I am Billie.. blogging.

Too Soon

"When you feel that time sees to to move too fast, it only means you are aging. Look at the kids, they get bored easily for they feel that time is moving so slowly."

Those were the words my boss told me when I got so exhausted with workloads at the tutorial center. Time flies for adults but for the younger ones, it crawls and take a break each and every minute. Since I feel the fast pace of time and life itself... I am old... I am a certified adult.

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Sobrang linaw pa sa akin ng mga chldhood days ko, mula sa mga experiences hanggang sa mga thoughts ko noon na intact pa rin sa utak ko ngayon, kung anggang kelan tatagal ang mga alaala eh hindi ko na alam. Naaalala ko pa kung paano ko napagpapalit ang mga water jugs namin ng mga kaklase ko dahil magkakapareho ng itsura, kung paano ko napagkamalian na panyo ang retaso ng tela na dala ng kaklase ko para sa klase namin sa EPP (Edukasyong Pantahanan at Pangkabuhayan), kaya pala medyo amoy lupa at magaspang 'yung tela dahil hindi pala talaga 'yun yung panyo ko; kung paano ko naitatapon ang mga lunch box ko sa siga dahil nalimutan ko na nasa loob pala ng plastic na tinapon ko sa siga ang lunchbox ko katulad na rin ng pagkawala ng wallet ko araw-araw noong grade 1 at 2 ako... ang tanga ko pala noon. Hindi ko rin pwedeng kalimutan ang moro-moro at sili-tubig na sobrang kinapaguran ko at kung paano ako nahuhulog mula sa langit kapag naglalaro kamin ng langit-lupa... hindi rin pwedeng mawala sa listahan ang basketbol at jackstone na kinaBANOan ko hanggang sa mga oras na binabasa ninyo ito. May mga pagkakataon rin noon na nagpapanggap akong masakit ang ulo, tiyan, paa at kung ano pang pwedeng sumakit para lang makatakas sa eskwela, hindi naman sa ayaw kong pumasok at mag-aral...nagkataon lang siguro na hindi ko masyadong gusto ang humarap sa pisara at lumanghap ng chalk dust...

Naaalala ko pa rin kung paano ako naiinip sa takbo ng panahon na para bang kahit na dumadaan ang araw eh tulog lang ang naghahati sa mga ito at dilim lang ang pananda pero wala naman talagang nangyayari.. walang nagbabago. Pero iba na ang sitwasyon ngayon...

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The mere fact that I am earning my own money states that I have grown up.. grown old... I was very much terrified by that thought... I have grown old... I not the kid who used to run along the streets without anything to bother about... i am not the same kid who smiles with utmost sincerity and have compassion for everyone for I have never felt betrayal and pain then... I am a very meek person inside yet a very determined and strong-willed person is exuded on the outside. I am not the same kid because I am not a kid anymore. I am not a kid. no longer a kid.

A friend wished that I may not lose my sunshine, the same wish the kid in me has for me... But i already lost it then... yet I feel the need to give it back to myself and so I am taking my steps in retrieving the sunshine I've lost when I fell and lost my head...

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Growing old isn't about the additional numbers in your age... growing old carries a big responsibility... you are held liable for the things you do and the things you failed to do... you get haunted by your own shadows for the deeds you never did... As a kid we want to be somebody but when someday comes, being somebody isn't everything... you will need someone and eventually need to give something...

As a kid, I was waiting for the right time because I know that it'll come but on when is something I wasn't sure of. Now that I am a little older, I need to chase time for I believe that time can never be right unless you work hard on making thing things right... At 20, I am in just a fourth or third fraction of my life but reaching this realization makes me feel a little older... We all grow old... that's our fate... but growing up is an option....

I am Billie... blogging.

Should have...

There are a lot of things I regret in the past but for now, I want to deal with my highschool days...

It was a day in June, year 2002. I started attending the school I never imagined of attending. I was in mixed emotions because I managed to got in easily but most of my gradeschool friends decided to go to other highschools so I was like contemplating on backing out but it was not an option at that time. While contemplating I heard these two girls chatting as if they have never seen each other for years. I cursed them at the time for they were too loud but the next thing I knew was they were already my classmates and after a month or so, I was enjoying their company and was chatting with them. I met other people, some became enemies and some became very dear to me. After a year, there was a resectioning and some bonds were strengthened and a lot have been cut. The same thing happened every year and the worse thing has yet to come... graduation.

Upon the preparation for graduation, we were asked to do a speech for our Filipino class, I made two and one of those tackled the graduation theme and as I remember a line from it goes like "hindi 'yung moment na iyon ang iniiyakan namin kund i'yung mga susunod na araw, linggo, buwan at taon na hindi na sila ang kasama namin sa bawat galaan, kausap sa bawat kwentuhan at kasalo sa bawat tanghalian." And indeed it happened... though we have managed to get in touch with one another from time to time, it is still different back then...

If I had known that we will be losing all those wonderful days we sed to have, I should have tried my best to show my friends how I value them and how much important they are to me. If I had known then that the things I've done will dictate the world's perception of me I should have tried on becoming a better person even when I was younger. I know I haven't tried hard enough on becoming a better person, on becoming a better comrade on becoming someone I've wanted to be... If I had known that time flies...

I SHOULD HAVE RUN FASTER...