Pondering: life after college

Just last night, I talked to a friend 'bout our plans after college and she actually surprised me because she plans to attend a med school after graduation. Me? Honestly, I stopped for this year because of the fear I have 'bout the life that awaits me after this school year if I haven't took a year off from school. I fear the recruitment process that I will be undergoing once I opted to look for a job and if fate wills, I also fear the stress and strain that I would be experiencing in a life totally different from being a student, a life of an employee.

Never in my wildest dream have I included this part, I envision success but not its beginning, and I believe I am not alone in that boat, many people had been there and will be there just like me. Maybe, beginnings aren't that exciting enough to be pondered on or it is not as spectacular or tragic as the climax or ending but thinking twice, it doubles the drama and the tension for it poses the biggest question which most of us never considered: "how will I start?". And once I decided to go back to school, I understand that I need to know which path I will take after college whether to work, get a Master's, attend a med school or dream to be the next lawyer dealing with forensics and stuffs like that. I still do not know what lies ahead of me and worse, I don't know where to start. Friends have always been comforting me with lines like "ok lang naman iyan, bata ka pa naman" or "try mo lang, wala namang mawawala", but one thing that i know they do not understand is that now that i am perfectly fine, I can't decide where to go what more if I already failed and the concern focuses more on how i can get myself whole again.

Indeed, it is difficult to be an adult and how I regret the days I spent when I was young wishing that I am an adult already. Life truly has its twists and turns, in no time, I will surely come up with a decision which will foretell my future because I know that the world will keep on spinning and won't bother to stop because of me. Time will run shorter and shorter and whatever you opt to do, whether you stop or go, you will surely run out of it.

I am pondering about it, I am your bloggista, leaving an inkblog.

image is from www.reallifeaftercollege.com