Pondering: Bestfriend

Sinong bestfriend mo?

Naaalala ko pa kung paano ko tinatanong iyan sa lahat ng mga kaklalase kong napapalapit sa akin sa pag-asang bestfriend nila ako...nakakatawa kung gaano ko pinahahalagahan NOON ang isang tawag na hindi naman talaga ang importante, gaya nga ng sabi ng kaibigan ko "ang kaibigan ay kaibigan, kahit anong tawag mo basta kaibigan mo, yun sya!". Pagdating ko ng hayskul, nagkaroon ako ng tatlong bestfriend, 'yung isa pareho kaming weird kaya naman nagkakasundo kami, 'yung isa super bait at massayahin kaya gusto ko siyang kasama madalas at ang huli ay napakamapanlait at masungit pero siya ang ultimate bestfriend ko at kahit di kami masyado magkita kahit malapit lang ang bahay namin sa isa't isa eh parang hindi kami naghiwalay kung mag-usap 'pag nagkita ulit.

Kanina sa pagtingin ko sa Friendster at Facebook account niya eh nakita ko ang bago niyang group of friends sa mga pics na in-upload niya at nakaramdam ako ng lungkot. Naisip ko, gaano pa kaya katagl kaming magiging magkaibigan kung ngayon pa lang eh may kanya-kanya na kaming mga buhay at iba na rin ang mga grupo ng kaibigan na meron kami...Nakakatakot na mawala at masayang na lang ang halos 8 years naming friendship at ilang taon ng pagiging bestfriends.

Ano nga ba ang bestfriend? Sapat na ba na magkasundo kayo palagi o madalas kayong magkasama? Okay na ba 'yung hindi kayo nagtatalo at masaya kay o'pag magkasama kayo? Kailangan bang isa lang ang bestfriend?

Hindi ko alam ang mga sagot pero sa tingin ko 'pag bestfriends kayo eh hindi naman pwedeng magkasundo kayo lagi at hindi na nagtatalo, ang kailangan lang eh nagcocompliment kayo sa isa't isa. Okay na 'yung magtalo basta sa huli tanggap niyo na mayroon kayong mag pagkakaiba at hindi niyo na dapat pinagtatalunan kung sinong tama o mali, ang importante nasasakyan ninyo ang tama ng bawat isa. Hindi rin naman maganda ang lagi kayong magkasama dahil hindi naman kayo magsyota...bestfriends lang. Alam ninyo dapat kung anong posisyon ninyo bilang bestfriend..may mga pampribadong aspeto sa buhay kasi ang bestfriend ninyo na hindi niyo dapat hinahakbangan. At higit sa lahat, hindi naman importante kung ilan ang bestfriend na meron ka basta alam mo kung paano sila pahahalagahan pero darating ka talaga sa punto na merong kaibigan na pinakaiintindi sa iyo at makakasundo mo, kung sino man iyon, hindi naman kailangan lagyan ng label na bestfriend mo siya...it happens naturally. At hindi porke't bestfriend mo eh bestfriend ka rin... hayaan mong 'yung kaibigan mo ang tumuring sa iyo... hindi mo dapat ipilit dahil treasure ang kaibigan hindi lang basta possesion na dapat may pangalan, iniingatan ito at tinatago ng mabuti ang mga ala-alang naipon ninyong dalawa... dahil kahit hindi man kayo maging magkasama sa huli, ang mahalag naranasan mong magkaroon ng kaibigan na kaya kang suportahan at tulungan sa mga panahong kailangan mo sila at makisaya sa oras ng iyong tagumpay.

Ako ang inyong bloggista....leaving an inkblog.

Reminiscing: remember the old songs (boyband fever)

I am a part of the generation who got so caught up with the boybands and that their songs ruled over the radio airwaves since I got in my sophomore year in highschool. Among my batch, who would forget the songs like This I Promise You, My Love, Like A Rose, Shape of my Heart and All or Nothing? My girl classmates all shouted for the names like Ben, Shane, Bryan and Justin with the big posters they bought somewhere not to mention that these posters cost more than the amount they get for their dafily allowance.

Recently, I browsed some of my old stuffs and found a copy of my favorite boybands album but it cannot be played anymore since it has a lot of scratches already in it which makes me a little sad considering that I spent some hundreds to buy it and now, I can't even listen to it. Sad. Makes me believe that at 20, I am so old...haha. But my optimism never failed me, I logged in to YouTube and tried to look for the songs and I found copies of it. Haha. Lucky me!

When I listened to the songs, I can't help but remember the grueling times I had upon graduating elementary and entering a new phase they call "highschool". It makes me reminisce the time when I go to the nearest bookstore or newsstand just to check if a1 (my favorite boyband,THEN!) has released a new album or the song magazines have had a new interview about their private lives or anything like that which may fancy me....hmmm...I wonder how much I spent buying those things... I hope I just saved it so that I could watch their concert here in the Philippines in 2001...

When you were a kid, a young kid with no real responsibility and has little obligation and has all the liberty to do everything you want as long as it does not interfere with your parents' parental power and does not require you to be out of their sight. You can mess with a lot of people and still, they won't mind you because you are young....But reality strikes... just like your favorite boyband which got disbanded because of their own personal reasons.... we also grow old... we need to grow up and we will never be boys forever...never be LITTLE boys forever...

This has been your bloggista...leaving an inkbog

Wanted: Mr. and Ms. Right

Have you found....THE ONE?

Sa pagtingin ko sa sari-saring sites sa internet sa pagbabaka sakali na makakuha ako ng mga trivias, eh tungkol lang sa paghanap ng true love, soul mate, mr or ms right o perfect one lang ang nakikita kong mga posts at paminsan-minsan eh ads ng mga astrologer. I have nothing against waiting for it pero to go crazy about looking for the one...medyo mali na yata iyon. gaya nga ng sinabi ni radley, isa sa mga sumagot sa tanong na ito sa Yahoo Answers which I quote " don't think that there is 'the one' out there, but maybe a few. You should enjoy being with the person you're with and when you stop being happy you move on. I also don't think you should waste time looking for the 'perfect' person, because people aren't perfect and you could bypass someone that could make you really and truly happy. I think it's a case of the grass being greener on the other side most of the time." Pero sabi nga nila, kung minsan-minsan lang, wala namang masama. Go ahead look for that person...he or she may be looking for you as well...who knows?

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Sabi ng teacher ko dati, hindi raw totoo ang ideal person...parang make believe kasi "ideal" daw, imagination pero in the end ni wala sa kalingkingan ng ideal person natin yung nakakatuluyan natin. I agree. Love after all isn't about finding the right or the perfect person for you, it is about making everything perfect and right with the person you chose to be with.

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At, eto na ang dahilan kung bakit ko ginawa ang taglish na post na ito. Nagsend kasi ang friend ko sa'ken ng message tungkol sa kagustuhan niyang magkaroon ng boyfriend at gusto niyang tulungan ko siya sa pagsasakatuparan ng kanyang nais. Hindi pa siya nagkakaroon ng special someone ever pero hindi naman siya 'yung taong babangungutin ka 'pag nakita mo, in fact, she has her way of presenting herself pleasantly to the people she meets. Ilang beses na rin siyang hinanapan ng date ng mga kaibigan namin pero mukhang hindi niya pa talaga oras na magka-alam mo na. Medyo choosy rin kasi, at ang gusto niya raw eh isang taong intellectually stimulating... as in brainy pero hindi naman weird ang dating...need not to be hot pero presentable. Bihira lang 'yung ganon, sabi ko sa kanya pero mapilit pa rin. Minsan kahit gaano kababa ang isineset nating standards given the circumstances, mahirap pa ring makuha.

I haven't met Ms. Right yet, but I do not rush... I know she'll come. I just hope she won't come at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Some people leaves with a sigh or a tear in the eye. Some just leaves without a trace. Some leaves with a smile and a promise to come back. Some people doesn't leave because of love, I wish I would someday be forced by love to do the things I dare not try... but for now...

I'll stay to be your bloggista....leaving an inkblog.

Nothing much

The 5th post.

Nothing much to read about. Currently I am working on a short story. Pinagawa ng isang friend about a year ago ngayon ko lang sisimulan...cge... just read the previous posts na lang and try to leave a comment. Thanks.

Pondering: life after college

Just last night, I talked to a friend 'bout our plans after college and she actually surprised me because she plans to attend a med school after graduation. Me? Honestly, I stopped for this year because of the fear I have 'bout the life that awaits me after this school year if I haven't took a year off from school. I fear the recruitment process that I will be undergoing once I opted to look for a job and if fate wills, I also fear the stress and strain that I would be experiencing in a life totally different from being a student, a life of an employee.

Never in my wildest dream have I included this part, I envision success but not its beginning, and I believe I am not alone in that boat, many people had been there and will be there just like me. Maybe, beginnings aren't that exciting enough to be pondered on or it is not as spectacular or tragic as the climax or ending but thinking twice, it doubles the drama and the tension for it poses the biggest question which most of us never considered: "how will I start?". And once I decided to go back to school, I understand that I need to know which path I will take after college whether to work, get a Master's, attend a med school or dream to be the next lawyer dealing with forensics and stuffs like that. I still do not know what lies ahead of me and worse, I don't know where to start. Friends have always been comforting me with lines like "ok lang naman iyan, bata ka pa naman" or "try mo lang, wala namang mawawala", but one thing that i know they do not understand is that now that i am perfectly fine, I can't decide where to go what more if I already failed and the concern focuses more on how i can get myself whole again.

Indeed, it is difficult to be an adult and how I regret the days I spent when I was young wishing that I am an adult already. Life truly has its twists and turns, in no time, I will surely come up with a decision which will foretell my future because I know that the world will keep on spinning and won't bother to stop because of me. Time will run shorter and shorter and whatever you opt to do, whether you stop or go, you will surely run out of it.

I am pondering about it, I am your bloggista, leaving an inkblog.

image is from www.reallifeaftercollege.com

Reminiscing: Elementary Days

Para sa pangatlo kong post, pinili kong magsulat sa tagalog. minsan hirap akong magsulat sa tagalog lalo na 'pag ipababasa ko ito sa mga tao gayunpaman, itutuloy ko na.

Namimiss mo ba ang elementary days mo?

'Yang tanong na iyan ang pumasok sa isipan ko noong magreklamo ang isa sa mga tutee ko tungkol sa walang katapusang pinapagawa saa kanila sa school at tutorial center pero mas nangibabaw sa akin ang pakiramdam ng pagkamiss sa mga nangyari nuong elementary ako kesa halukayin ang baul ng paghihirap na naranasan ko noon bilang isang elementary student.

Nag-aral ako sa isang pampublikong paaralan, nung mga panahon na iyon hindi pa masyadong siksikan ang mga estudyante, sa classroom namin nasa 40-50 ang estudyante sa ibang silid umaabot ng hanggang 70 pero depende iyon sa laki ng classroom pero noon pa man eh ramdam na ang kakulangan sa guro at mas malaki ang kakulangan sa mga mababait at mahuhusay na titser dahi lsa tuwing umaabsent ang titser, walang substitute, pinapalipat kami sa ibang classroom, medyo badtrip kasi wala rin naman kaming natutunan dahil medyo marami at wala rin naman kaming inuupuan kundi 'yung sahig dahil walang sobrang silya sa kwarto, sa katunayan, kulang pa nga ang upuan at mas kulang ang upuang pwedeng upuan, gets mo?

Pero hinding-hindi ko naman ipagpapalit ang mga taong iginugol ko doon para palitan ng mga taong pwede ko sanang gugulin sa private schoool dahil talaga namang nasiyahan ako sa pananatili ko doon at dahil ito sa mga sumusunod:

Teachers.
Malaki ang kaibahan ng mga guro sa public at private schools. Kadalasang mas may edad ang mga teachers sa public kesa sa private, mga tatlong henerasyon lang naman. Mas pawisan din ang mga guro sa public na minsan parang hindi na lang sila nagtuturo parang kinakarga pa nila isa-isa 'yung estudyante kung makikita mo kadalassan ang pawisang mukha ng mga teachers at halata rin sa mga uniporme ng mga public school teachers ang kakapusan ng sahod. Ngayon, malamang magtataka ka kung bakit mas gusto ko sa public sa kabila ng mga ayos ng mga teachers at 'wag na nating isama ang paminsan-minsang burst-out ng mga teachers lalo na 'pag nadelay ang sweldo. Isa lang ang dahilan, dahil sa kabila ng mga kondisyong nabanggit ay ginusto pa rin nila kaming turuan at hindi dahil sa sweldo kundi dahil sa kagustuhan nilang ibahagi ang mga natutunan nila sa mga nakaraang taon ng buhay nila.

Kaklase.
Hindi ninyo iisipin kung sinong mas may pera sa mga kaklase mo dahil alam mong hindi naman talaga mayayaman ang mga kaklase mo dahil sa public nga kayo nag-aral. Masayang pumunta sa mga bahay ng mga kaklase mo dahil kadalasang walking distance lang at handa ang kanilang mga nanay na ipaghanda kayo ng meryendang kadalasan eh tinapay mula sa bakery sa kanto na parang tatlong araw na'ng tagal sa estante pero ok lang basta libre masarap na rin. Nakkapaglaro rin kayo ng langit-lupa at taguan dahil hindi naman lahat sila eh may computer o playstation na hinahabol laruin sa bahay at wala rin silang binabayarang tutor kaya hindi nagmamadaling umuwi ng bahay. Simple lang ang gusto ninyo at pare-pareho kayo, gusto niyo lang ay maglaro at magpakasaya.

Paaralan.
Hindi bawal magvandal kasi marami na, minsan gusto mo pa ngang bawasan ng konti ang mga vandals eh. Walang isasauling libro sa library dahil walang laman ang library at walang masisirang aparato dahil wala kayo nuon. Masustansya ang pagkain sa canteen pero 'di ka sigurado sa linis nito. Pero kahit ganoon, dito naranasan ko'ng maging bata...hanggang sa lumaki ako bilang mas mabuting matanda...

Marami pa akong kwento.

I am your bloggista leaving an inkblog.

Imagew from www.clipartguide.com

Pondering: homosexual love

I know it is not the topic that I should start with but while i was browsing the internet and checking the videos in YouTube, I can't help but notice the growing number of shows and movies dealing with gay love and relationships for the theme and common ending to such are tragic and very unfortunate as contrary to the synonym of the word on which the name of the homosexual class was derived which means "happy".
Let me make myself clear, I am not a gay neither bisexual but I do have friends who has sentiments on how pitiful the outcome of gay relations will be. In one instance, a gay friend even asked me how come the girl-who-acted-as-a-boy in the Asianovelas Hanakimi and Coffee Prince had a guy who loved her for her male identity, does that mean that a man or a woman can love a gay or a lesbian romantically and genuinely? I opted to leave the question a question until now...

Can a straight heterosexual love a homo- or bisexual?

From the question itself, it is impossible. The only way a man can truly love another man is for him to become a gay or at least a bisexual. The next question would be is, if they can endure the hypocritic eyes of those people who believes that a person can only commit himself to the opposite sex which consists around 90% of the place you are living in including your parents (especially in the Philippines where everyone considers themselves as conservatives); and if you can, how long will it last?
Gay relationship also needs to face the reality that you can never have an offspring as a couple, however you want to have a natural baby, you just can't and won't. A sad reality. You can't leave peacefully just like the other "normal" couples and now, you need to accept that it will be you and him/her until your dying hour unless you would want to have a baby maker or adopt a kid.

Chasing true love, that's one of the quest a gay has to face, i think, but sustaining it and making it last proves to be the toughest.

Now, if someone asks me to become a gay man in exchange for a milllion dollar, I would definitely say no. It's not that I hate gays or a homophobic but because in a society where I am living, straight men has a greater chance of finding true love, someone to stand by you without the scrutiny of public eye. I believe that growing old with someone you love is ideal, and so difficult to make happen but being gay, I think, doubles the difficulty.

This is what I am thinking of, sorry for those who got offended and have different views but i hope you'd respect mine the way i respect your opinions, it's okay if you'd speak it out here.

I am your blogger leaving an inkblog.

image is from: http://www.20twentytwo.blogspot.com/

For the first time...

I know the title sounds a little off, even I, myself picture KC Concepcion when I hear the title, anyways let's get going then.

I am happy that you paid some time browsing through my blog. you may ask me about things if you want just place it in the suggestion box or add yourself as a follower of the blog. i promise to make the next post as fast as possible. see yah!
-Billie